Once and now

Part of me
Has died
And won't return
And part of me
Wants to hide
The part that's burned

Once, once
I knew how to talk to you
Once, once
But not anymore

Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home

Part of me
Has vied
To watch it burn
And the heart of me
Has tried
But look what it's become

Once, once
I knew how to look for you
Once, once
But that was before
Once, once
I would have laid down and died for you
Once, once
But not anymore.

Hear the sirens call me home


************ Music from the movie Once ***************


Quisiera escribirte algo bonito, bonito de verdad,
pero se trata de despedirme, se me da muy mal.
Quisiera escirbirte algo sencillo, en realidad,
pero se trata de despedirme de alguien que no tuve jamás.

ESTRIBILLO
Y dime qué difícil es intentarse olvidar de algo que nunca tuvo lugar,
y qué difícil es dejar de imaginar, y que difícil es intentarse alejar.
Quisiera encontrar algún final que no, no sonará tan mal.


Difícil escribir algo bonito, se trata de un final,
no acabaré con un 'te quiero', no me dio tiempo a llegar.
Difícil escribir algo sencillo, en realidad,
que se hace algo cuesta arriba darse la vuelto y echar a andar.

ESTRIBILLO

Y antes de olvidarme, y antes de alejarme,
y antes de marcharme y que todo se acabe,
yo solo quería haberte escrito algo bonito, algo bonito de verdad.

Que difícil es intentarse alejar,
quisiera encontrar algun final que no,
no acabará tan mal.


********* Conchita - Algo bonito ************

Travelling

I love to travel. It has become my favorite hobby and thinking about it, it might even be my favorite activity of all. I started early, getting familiar with the feel of other places under my parents guidance and for some time now I have been travelling on my own or with friends.

I have been so lucky to be able to spend some months living in Spain, where I met some of my best friends. Most of them share my passion for other countries and cultures and I have learned so much only by talking to them. I know that seeing the world today can be expensive, even if you are a backpacker or a pilgrim, because at least you should be able to afford leaving your home for some time, along with family, friends and a well-known environment. It is this cost that makes it hard and also very promising to spend time in other countries. So everybody should have the chance to go abroad at some point in his life. It does not matter much, how far you go, just that you are open to the differences that start beyond your personal horizon.

What I have learned is more than I could ever have experienced in a lifetime if I had spent it in one place. My life is rich because of the people I met and languages I have been able to practice, because of the lifestyles I adopted and opinions I have heard.

Travelling has rooted my credo deeply that openness is the key to a happy life. I will be leaving again for Spain tomorrow and see new places and people I have been missing. I am travelling with my companions to share experiences that are so important to friendship.

I will leave you with these two videos made by ex-videogame-programmer Matt Harding who took all his spared money to travel the world and became an internet legend that warms my heart :)



At least as good: the outtakes made after his second video, which was sponsored by a chewing gum company :)

Summer

I have not been writing for some time and I have had good reasons (mostly). It is summertime and I have been living it up with good friends from far and near. I spent some time in Leiden in the Netherlands with walks on the beach and rain showers in the marsh. I met up with old friends from highschool for barbecue and enjoyed days by the lake around here. I went canoeing and biking. I got to sing along to my grandpa playing the keyboard. I helped my uncle's family move into their new house. I got to throw my dad to the ground in martial arts training. My brother is happy and we are soon to take off on another adventure together, driving to Spain in my car. I also got a new laptop which has increased my quality of life enormously (speed, webcam and a lot more mobility).

I have been reading quite a bit and am currently writing a paper about communication and leadership in project groups. It is a topic within organizational sociology and a pretty interesting one especially for me, because I feel the relevance it is going to have in my future career. Did you know that the German Industrial Norming Institution (DIN) does not work with a category for leadership or social competencies within the project when deciding over its quality certification?!
Although the topic is nice, work is going a bit slow, mainly for the above mentioned reasons.

Never mind that, everybody keeps telling me. Just let it go and this too shall pass... I know, I can feel now, what I have been thinking for a long time. Just having the experience of those unfortunate phases passing and coming up again does not make you immune to them. Emotions can get in the way just as your diet or lack of sleep can. Whatever it feels like when you are stuck, eventually you will rise again and all those fears and the self-reproach will be forgotten, because you have not lost anything, only gained. Knowing that will not stop you from feeling that way, but it will help you to get to the other side! So, just relax :)




And if you are still not relaxed, consider this ;-)

A webcomic selection

In an effort to make your procrastination more efficient I would like to offer you my longtime experience and some pretty awesome little helpers for the many hours you, as I well know, spend NOT doing what you think you should be doing at that moment.

I will have Sinfest's genius artist Tatsuya Ishida have the first word:



Next up is Jorge Cham, creator of phdcomics, where at least every academic gradstudent finds a lot of his own life funnily portrayed (or so accurately that it hurts). See here one of the very wise insights into the life of my part of population:



And with all this new life that everyone leads on the internet you should also see the significance that little changes in your online profile can have (here shown from the angle of xkcd, A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language):


Facebook defines relationships. 'Yeah, we would have broken up last night, but the net connection was down.'

Every now and then webcomics can really make you think. They are some kind of philosophy light, the kind that could just let you drift off and spend some time relaxing inside your mind, because it reminded you of thoughts you had but never finished. Now is the time you can use for it! This example is by the Perry Bible Fellowship:



In other words, as you may well have guessed, I spent the time since my last post studying and procrastinating. Will you guess what took up more time? FYI: My exam in German constitutional law went well and my presentation got good feedback. No worries!

On changing your mind

When I was a kid I was afraid. I wondered whether I would ever have an opinion of my own. Everything seemed like it had been thought before. Sometimes I was proud of some product of my mind but then I realized that it did not really impress anyone.
I thought that maybe I was not very good at thinking critically because in most discussions I was jumping on bandwagons. In Germany we have another metaphor for that, "being a little flag in the wind", changing direction with it. That was what it felt like when I listened and then agreed, then kept on listening and agreed with the opposite opinion.
My problem was that I often could not decide which side I was on. I was afraid I could not define my own position which I thought every adult had to have. It seemed so important to know where you stood. A necessary prerequisite to stand up for yourself.

Today I have my own opinion. It developed without me really noticing it. It came from going with the current and letting all different views wash through my mind. I have learned to defend what I stand for. It also came from being educated and being shown the world through the tolerant and wise eyes of my parents. Most of all I probably learned through my own positive experiences with diversity. I think that most people today would describe me as rather principled.

The most important principle and one of the few I would accept for myself is openness. Being aware of the fact that you do not know yet what you will believe in the future, be it still far or very close, to me is a sure sign of wisdom. I try hard not to nurture preconceived ideas, although they are hard to let go. Through forming my own views I have found the true value of being a little flag in the wind.