While leaving behind this city, slowly moving back in with my parents, and with my upcoming trip to the United States in mind, I have been thinking about what "home" means to me. For a long time now I have been using that word for both my childhood home and my flat in Augsburg. Of course I am gonna miss this place. It has been my very own shelter and a place of calm and warmth for five years now.
But the feeling it's not just about this place, more about the memories and people that are connected with the time I spent here. In the movie Garden State, Zach Braff talks about family as "a group of people who are missing the same imaginary place". Yes, in this sense, Augsburg has been my home, as there will always be people who will be missing this same imaginary place. The most important friends won't disappear from my life, while some others will go their own ways again, just like I am doing, maybe connecting from time to time somewhere out in the world. And there will always be some true friends, who I will share my life with, and who will find me wherever I go just as I will find them. I wish that all of you have such people that feel like home to you!
Enjoy a beautiful cover version below of this beautiful song called Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros:
January 10, 2011
January 07, 2011
December 22, 2010
A new day
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "There's always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in," wrote novelist Graham Greene. I'll add to that: There are at least three moments in adulthood when a new door opens and invites the rest of the future in. Judging by the astrological omens, I'm guessing that one such breakthrough lies ahead for you in 2011. What can you do to expedite and encourage fate's summons? Here's one possibility: Surrender to the naked truth of what you love.
I have completed my recent journey inward. It has been described as a "surgical operation of the mind", ten days in complete silence, meditating and working on my equanimity and awareness. It has added to my clarity of mind and since I came back my work efficiency has improved greatly. If you wanna know more about what I did on this retreat, you can find some information here.
The reorganization of my life is going on steadily and the date of my journey outward in the world is coming closer. I am giving up the room I have been living in for 5 years now. Very soon I will receive my diploma and will start to apply for jobs. I have started saying goodbye to some dear friends that I won't see as much anymore. And I feel like nothing is clear, but all is well.
I have completed my recent journey inward. It has been described as a "surgical operation of the mind", ten days in complete silence, meditating and working on my equanimity and awareness. It has added to my clarity of mind and since I came back my work efficiency has improved greatly. If you wanna know more about what I did on this retreat, you can find some information here.
The reorganization of my life is going on steadily and the date of my journey outward in the world is coming closer. I am giving up the room I have been living in for 5 years now. Very soon I will receive my diploma and will start to apply for jobs. I have started saying goodbye to some dear friends that I won't see as much anymore. And I feel like nothing is clear, but all is well.
December 03, 2010
What should I do with my life II
"Who doesn't feel fearless at twenty-five?
I wasn't afraid. But that brazenness is usually hiding something. [...] My choices were ruled by that fear, but I never would have called it a fear. I would have advertised it as one of the few things that I knew mattered to me. I would have called it self-knowledge. You want to know where your fears are hiding? Tell me what you know about yourself. Tell me what you can't live without." p.336 in this book
Almost exactly one year ago I wrote in this blog about the very same topic. The big question of what I should do with my life has not been answered, far from it, but I have been working on it a lot. The renewed dynamic is due to the fact that I just graduated from university. I now have the equivalent of a masters degree in Sociology, with minors in Political Science and Applied Linguistics for Spanish. And yes, it feels fantastic :)
But graduation is not just the ultimate goal, which it has been for the last 5 years. I only just begin confronting the fact that it is much more of a beginning than an end. There are some serious, exciting, crucial decisions to be made. My grades are pretty great. My chances at a good job are definitely above average. My life is orderly and controlled and safe. I have a strong supportive net of family and friends. Nothing can go wrong. This is what I know about myself. Now tell me what my biggest fear is.
But it's not just about the scary momentary insecurity in my life. It's about the opportunity of it all. Soon I will go traveling. Both inside myself and outside in the world. I feel the need to challenge myself again. I would like to find new ways to prove myself other than by academic standards. I will force myself to plan a little less, even if it is just temporary. What I hope to accomplish is a new, a better me. If that new me writes a blog, you will read about it here! Love and success to all of you!
I wasn't afraid. But that brazenness is usually hiding something. [...] My choices were ruled by that fear, but I never would have called it a fear. I would have advertised it as one of the few things that I knew mattered to me. I would have called it self-knowledge. You want to know where your fears are hiding? Tell me what you know about yourself. Tell me what you can't live without." p.336 in this book
Almost exactly one year ago I wrote in this blog about the very same topic. The big question of what I should do with my life has not been answered, far from it, but I have been working on it a lot. The renewed dynamic is due to the fact that I just graduated from university. I now have the equivalent of a masters degree in Sociology, with minors in Political Science and Applied Linguistics for Spanish. And yes, it feels fantastic :)
But graduation is not just the ultimate goal, which it has been for the last 5 years. I only just begin confronting the fact that it is much more of a beginning than an end. There are some serious, exciting, crucial decisions to be made. My grades are pretty great. My chances at a good job are definitely above average. My life is orderly and controlled and safe. I have a strong supportive net of family and friends. Nothing can go wrong. This is what I know about myself. Now tell me what my biggest fear is.
But it's not just about the scary momentary insecurity in my life. It's about the opportunity of it all. Soon I will go traveling. Both inside myself and outside in the world. I feel the need to challenge myself again. I would like to find new ways to prove myself other than by academic standards. I will force myself to plan a little less, even if it is just temporary. What I hope to accomplish is a new, a better me. If that new me writes a blog, you will read about it here! Love and success to all of you!
October 14, 2010
There'll be sun sun sun
Oh, well, in five years time we could be walking round a zoo
With the sun shining down over me and you
And there'll be love in the body's of the elephants too
I'll put my hands over your eyes,
but you'll peek through
And there'll be sun, sun, sun
All over our faces.
And sun, sun, sun
All on our bodies.
There'll be sun, sun, sun
All down my neck.
And sun, sun, sun
So, what the heck.
‘cause i'll be laughing at all your silly little jokes
And we'll be laughing about how we used to smoke
All those stupid little cigarretes and drink stupid wine
‘cause it's what we needed to have a good time
But it was fun, fun, fun
When we were drinking.
It was fun, fun, fun
When we were drunk.
And it was fun, fun, fun
When we were laughing.
It was fun, fun, fun
Oh, it was fun.
Oh, well, i look at you and say: “it's the happiest that i've ever been”
And i'll say: “i no longer feel i have to be james dean”
And you say: “yeah, and i feel pretty happy too,
and i'm always pretty happy when i'm just kicking back with you”
And there'll be love, love, love
All through our body's.
Love, love, love
All through our minds.
And it'd be love, love, love
All over her face.
And love, love, love
All over mine.
And i'll remember all these moments suggesting my head
I'll be thinking about them when im lying in bed.
And i know that immediately they might not even come true,
But in my mind i'm having a pretty good time with you
Five years time
I might not know you
Five years time
We might not speak
And five years time
We might not get along
Five years time
You might just prove me wrong
Oh, there'll be love, love, love
Wherever you go
There'll be love, love, love
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