December 22, 2010

A new day

ARIES (March 21-April 19): "There's always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in," wrote novelist Graham Greene. I'll add to that: There are at least three moments in adulthood when a new door opens and invites the rest of the future in. Judging by the astrological omens, I'm guessing that one such breakthrough lies ahead for you in 2011. What can you do to expedite and encourage fate's summons? Here's one possibility: Surrender to the naked truth of what you love.

I have completed my recent journey inward. It has been described as a "surgical operation of the mind", ten days in complete silence, meditating and working on my equanimity and awareness. It has added to my clarity of mind and since I came back my work efficiency has improved greatly. If you wanna know more about what I did on this retreat, you can find some information here.

The reorganization of my life is going on steadily and the date of my journey outward in the world is coming closer. I am giving up the room I have been living in for 5 years now. Very soon I will receive my diploma and will start to apply for jobs. I have started saying goodbye to some dear friends that I won't see as much anymore. And I feel like nothing is clear, but all is well.

December 03, 2010

What should I do with my life II

"Who doesn't feel fearless at twenty-five?
I wasn't afraid. But that brazenness is usually hiding something. [...] My choices were ruled by that fear, but I never would have called it a fear. I would have advertised it as one of the few things that I knew mattered to me. I would have called it self-knowledge. You want to know where your fears are hiding? Tell me what you know about yourself. Tell me what you can't live without.
" p.336 in this book

Almost exactly one year ago I wrote in this blog about the very same topic. The big question of what I should do with my life has not been answered, far from it, but I have been working on it a lot. The renewed dynamic is due to the fact that I just graduated from university. I now have the equivalent of a masters degree in Sociology, with minors in Political Science and Applied Linguistics for Spanish. And yes, it feels fantastic :)

But graduation is not just the ultimate goal, which it has been for the last 5 years. I only just begin confronting the fact that it is much more of a beginning than an end. There are some serious, exciting, crucial decisions to be made. My grades are pretty great. My chances at a good job are definitely above average. My life is orderly and controlled and safe. I have a strong supportive net of family and friends. Nothing can go wrong. This is what I know about myself. Now tell me what my biggest fear is.

But it's not just about the scary momentary insecurity in my life. It's about the opportunity of it all. Soon I will go traveling. Both inside myself and outside in the world. I feel the need to challenge myself again. I would like to find new ways to prove myself other than by academic standards. I will force myself to plan a little less, even if it is just temporary. What I hope to accomplish is a new, a better me. If that new me writes a blog, you will read about it here! Love and success to all of you!