December 03, 2010

What should I do with my life II

"Who doesn't feel fearless at twenty-five?
I wasn't afraid. But that brazenness is usually hiding something. [...] My choices were ruled by that fear, but I never would have called it a fear. I would have advertised it as one of the few things that I knew mattered to me. I would have called it self-knowledge. You want to know where your fears are hiding? Tell me what you know about yourself. Tell me what you can't live without.
" p.336 in this book

Almost exactly one year ago I wrote in this blog about the very same topic. The big question of what I should do with my life has not been answered, far from it, but I have been working on it a lot. The renewed dynamic is due to the fact that I just graduated from university. I now have the equivalent of a masters degree in Sociology, with minors in Political Science and Applied Linguistics for Spanish. And yes, it feels fantastic :)

But graduation is not just the ultimate goal, which it has been for the last 5 years. I only just begin confronting the fact that it is much more of a beginning than an end. There are some serious, exciting, crucial decisions to be made. My grades are pretty great. My chances at a good job are definitely above average. My life is orderly and controlled and safe. I have a strong supportive net of family and friends. Nothing can go wrong. This is what I know about myself. Now tell me what my biggest fear is.

But it's not just about the scary momentary insecurity in my life. It's about the opportunity of it all. Soon I will go traveling. Both inside myself and outside in the world. I feel the need to challenge myself again. I would like to find new ways to prove myself other than by academic standards. I will force myself to plan a little less, even if it is just temporary. What I hope to accomplish is a new, a better me. If that new me writes a blog, you will read about it here! Love and success to all of you!


Jessi said...

Hi, I'm a new follower.

I love the quote. And congrats on finishing school! I really wish I could learn Spanish.

Robert said...

Welcome :)
Glad I gave you something worthwhile. I am sure you will learn Spanish someday. Estoy cierto de que algun día lo cumplirás. Disfruta tu día, carpe diem!