April 28, 2008

Making Choices

...is essential! And it is by far one of the hardest things to learn, when you are as open and accepting towards the world as I try to be. Openness brings with it a whole bunch of choices. You constantly get this influx of new and attractive possibilities, get to know new people, find and cherish new dreams. Decisions have to be made, about which dream to pursue, which opportunity to grasp, and in my life, these are not black and white. They are more like green and orange, complementary and equally beautiful, depending on the mood I am in and on the prospects I draw.

Making choices comes with liberty, which is basically a very desireable thing. It can be very sad not to have the possibility to decide and feel the force of circumstances or just good reason compelling you to do a particular (sometimes unwanted) thing. Often it is ourselves that define how free we are and our perception influences our choices. But is it not risky to decide as if you were totally free of obligations and only obliged to yourself? Are you not wagering on an insecure basis if you gamble everything for your dreams? That is what makes me afraid of catching some planes and giving up some connection: insecurity and fear!

Fear is a very important factor when it comes to choose because a decision always is against one option and in favor of another. You lose something and have to take the decision all the way hoping to win something, too. What am I going to win? Will I be able to keep it, or is it just a short-term gain? What will be lost forever?

Writing about it makes it clear how complex it is to reach a good decision. Time always tells though! I need to practice my patience...

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